• Queerbloc

Jeremy Mifsud - glow in the quiet

i want to be like a glow in the dark figurine,

except i’d only glow when i’m surrounded


by silence. you would no longer tell me

i want to fuck you so bad every minute.


you wouldn’t blast music when i hesitate

to respond with a yes. silence is scary, but


sound is cutthroat. i don’t want to hear

my predators howling. i wouldn’t blame


myself if they ambushed me at night.

but i heard him loud and clear. i saw


him in broad daylight and i still became

a victim. i'd like my skin to flicker when


i am anxious or terrified or not feeling

well enough. as a child, i bit my tongue


way too often. now it’s swollen and too

heavy to move around. ‘no’ is a short word


but still too difficult to pronounce. how

can i reject your love when i crave it?


tonight, i am dull. if you ask to fuck me,

i'll bury my head under your pillow and cry.


i will shrug. i hate myself more than i could

ever love you. i hate my body. how it damages


itself. how my stomach turns all food into

magma that burns me from inside. i am a


jar that swallowed a nightful of fireflies.

without their flame, i'm only a shadow.


during this meltdown i just wanna hit

my body for struggling to breathe you in.


my skin didn’t flicker when you spoke.

it reflected moonlight. now i have to let you


down.


www.instagram.com/poetrybyjeremy